Separation means unfortunately that life for your whole family, including your children, will change.
Nothing will remain the same, including your relationship with your partner and your children, and there is nothing that you can do about that. Of course that may not necessarily be a bad thing, but either way it will certainly be a different experience and will probably take some getting used to.
A significant change is that if you cannot agree about arrangements for your children your parenting behaviour may become subject to the scrutiny of the court which can be intimidating. However, the court has some basic things it looks for when making decisions about parenting. One of the most important of these is whether the parents are focused on their children’s needs and interests and are not allowing any private dispute between them to get in the way of that focus.
As an example of this, here are some questions about children that are commonly asked of us that you might find helpful. Remember, though, nothing can replace appropriate legal advice.
That’s why, if you feel confused or uncertain, we encourage you to request a no-obligation, confidential consultation. Booking is as easy as completing the form on just to the right, or calling our office during business hours. We’ll be happy to offer our expert advice.
Now that we have split can the kids and I move back to the town where my family lives?
You should not do this without the other parent’s agreement or a court order. If you do and the other person asks the court to decide where the children live you can be forced to move back or if you are not willing to do that the court can order that your children come back and live with the other parent.
If you are in this situation, the best course of action is likely to involve making an application to the Federal Magistrates Court for orders that allow you to move with the children. The best possible advice if you find yourself in this situation is to contact a lawyer (preferably an accredited Family Law Specialist) to get advice about your specific circumstances.
I have always looked after the kids whilst their
dad went to work. Now we have separated their
dad wants them for half the time.
This should happen only if this arrangement is in the best interests of your children. The law does not say that this must happen. It certainly isn’t a likely outcome if there is a high level of conflict between the parents or a history of domestic violence or if the children are very young.
On the other hand, the days where most dads only see their children on alternate weekends and half school holidays tends to be a thing of the past. Most often the solution lies somewhere in-between.
The kids don’t want to see their father
so should I force them?
If there is a court order that says your children should spend time with their father then you will be in breach of that order if they don’t go. Once there is a court order you are obliged to comply with the order’s terms. If your children’s father complains to the court that you have failed to comply with the orders you will find that the federal magistrate who deals with your case will be very unimpressed if this is the reason given. Quite often the federal magistrates will say (and none too gently) something like, “If the children decided they didn’t want to go to school would you think it was their decision to make? No you wouldn’t. This is no different.”
However there may be reasons why your child is reluctant to spend time with the other parent. If you find yourself in the position where you are wondering how you should respond to your child in these circumstances, your lawyer can point you in the right direction as to what steps you should take.
How long will it take the court to finalise
arrangements for my children?
If you apply to a court to decide about parenting orders (arrangements for your children) it will usually take between nine months and eighteen months. This is the time between filing your Application and the date of the final hearing. However, you will need to keep in mind that after the final hearing it may take between one and six months before the Judge or Federal Magistrate makes their decision.
In reality, most matters settle long before the final hearing date. There are steps such as mediation built into the court process to help you reach a settlement.
Start here with your no-obligation confidential consultation phone: 1300 368 258